I had forgotten the quite healing power of a sincere apology. I have focused on peacemaking from the active moral engagement side looking for a deeper understanding in conflict spirals, cycles of abuse, strategizing ways to combat aggressors. To find win/win solutions in with those whom I must seek to empathize and treat humanely and in my noble quest for peacemaking. I lost sight power of forgiveness.
I am auditing Dr. Malley –Morrisons’ course on the psychology of war and peace this summer. It is becoming a voyage full of an engaging class of young minds with poignant questions, captivating speakers, followed by reading of journal articles and papers written by the minds of those steamships and trawlers of the vast ocean of ethics, conflict, and discovery that makes up education.
Our first speaker Dr. Majed Ashy spoke on apology, forgiveness, and reconciliation. Ashy explained how the neurobiology of forgiveness produces positive changes the brain. His research in the affects of child abuse and brain mapping has reinforced his dedication to continue his work at Amherst. The parting words from Dr. Ashy were “Look me up on the internet” I’ve spent this morning reading and listening to his work on child abuse and forgiveness. http://www.wsradio.com/wsradio-player.cfm/type/windows/show/The-Doug-Noll-Show/segment/37595
Ashy’s lecture reminded me of the three aspects of apology that Randy Pausch spoke of in his book the Last Lecture which is roughly stated here are; 1. Say, I’m sorry. It’s the set up introducing the possibility for healing. 2. It is my fault taking responsibility for the action that has caused hurt, whether intentionally or not admit your part honestly and truthfully. 3. Ask how the harm can be undone or forgiven and be willing to accept their reply.
I can think of no better topic to begin a study of conflict than the importance of building a bridge of apology that brings together people who have felt separated by their differences.
Prue's Puddle 